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1_TakeCareOtherMOS (orig wht) DbHRESOLVING CONFLICT

by Dee Harris

   I have some conflict within me which became more pronounced as I travelled recently Down Under.  How could the Aborigines have been treated so poorly, like animals?  Which brings me to the American Indians.  Living in Hawai’i I am faced with the hideous treatment of indigenous natives here.

   And exploring New Zealand, Tasmania and Australia I got to see Tasmanian Devils, yet no Tasmanian Tigers, as they are extinct.  How did we let that happen?  We.  Mankind.  Those of us who inhabit this planet.

   Ok.  I didn’t do it.  You didn’t do it.  If I wear the shoes of those before me, I can understand their motives.  But today?  Still?

   So I am pissed.  Disheartened.  But still hopeful that somehow I can make the world a little bit better.  Even if I don’t by writing this, at least the power has somehow subsided by the fact that I shared this.

   I just watched a meditation from Deepak Chopra’s Free 4-Part Workshop on Overcoming Chaos.  Video #1 contains a conversation between Roger Gabriel, a teacher of meditation at the Chopra Center, and Deepak Chopra about Resolving Conflict from Within.

   Conflict can be with another person, with a situation in our lives, or with another person.  Conflict can add some very dramatic and negative aspects to our lives.  Conflict is essentially the basic ingredient in all suffering.  And it is usually conflict with our own self.

   In meditation we can get the opposition to go away when we go to the source of thought where there is no conflict whatsoever.  Meditation is a key way to resolve your inner conflict.

   Conflict also comes from the feeling of separation – loneliness.  Ask yourself, “What am I observing (non-judgmentally)?  What am I feeling (insecurity?)? And what do I need (am I feeling insecure, unsafe, unloved, not getting appreciation, affection, acceptance; or do I have a desire that is being impeded; or are you not in touch with your deep self which is the source of intuition, creativity?  Then ask yourself, “What’s the best way to fulfill this need?”  The answer is there within you.  It is called non-violent or conscious communication.

   If you have a conflict with another person, treat them with respect.  Recognize there is the perception of injustice on both sides.  Try to understand the other person’s point of view.  Learn to forgive both yourself and the other person, even if you feel it’s unjustified.  Forgive not because the other person deserves forgiveness.  You forgive because you deserve peace.  Try not to prove another person wrong or lose face.

   Refrain from ideological discussions.  Recognize that there’s fear on both sides.  Face the fear and talk about it.  When you do these simple things you refrain from being belligerent.  You use emotional intelligence you get in touch with your emotions, you empathize, you get in touch with the other person’s emotions.  You automatically move from empathy to compassion to love.  Try to understand other people’s values and you share your values with them.  Conflict resolves.

   But how do I start from forgiveness?  How do I start from love?  Meditation helps you slowly become a witness of your thoughts, your behavior, of your actions.  Observe yourself without judging yourself.  Slowly your conflicts resolve.  Meditation takes us momentarily beyond our own internal conflict so we can see that there’s something else other than the conflict.

   We’re surrounded by external conflicts everyday in our lives.  External conflicts can often create internal conflicts.  How we feel internally affects how we view the external world.  Doubts, frustration, anxieties, disappointments and such all lead to inner chaos and reduce the quality of life on all levels.

   Get comfortable.  Close your eyes.  Take deep breaths.  Now allow your breathing to be normal.  Be aware of what’s happening in your mind.  Be aware of your thoughts.  Be aware of any emotions, feelings.  Simply observe your thoughts and emotions.  What do you see?  What do you feel?  Or maybe it’s hard to just think straight.  All of these thoughts and emotions, all of this internal conflict, is blocking the free-flow of energy and information in your body and in your life.  It’s blocking the free-flow of love and joy in your life.

   Now it’s time to move beyond them.  So bring your awareness into your body.  Just easily be aware of what you’re feeling in your body.  Be aware of any tightness, tension, or any discomfort in your body.

   Any conflict we have in our mind are always reflected in some discomfort in the body.  Now gently begin to breathe into any discomfort in your body, and slightly deepen your breathing, breathing energy and light into the tension.  As you exhale allowing the tightness to soften, allowing any discomfort to fade effortlessly.  All fears and conflict contract us; love expands.  Allow your body to relax and expand.

   Now be aware of your mind again.  Are things a little easier, a little quieter?  Your thoughts and emotions a little more settled?  And now remember or imagine a time when you were in a peaceful setting.  Imagine yourself in this place right now.  Feel yourself at peace, nourished and secure.  Feel a deep sense of pleasure, of comfort and contentment.  At peace within yourself.  At peace with the world.

   Feel this pleasure as a warm glow in the area of your naval.   Slowly allow this warm glow to expand, expanding until it fills your whole body.  Allow it to fill your mind.  Allow any conflicts and discomforts still remaining to dissolve into this warm glow.  Feel yourself becoming free from them all.  Feel the lightness in your mind and body.  Feel this new awakening in your mind and body.

   Take a few deeper breaths and when you’re ready, still with this lightness, slowly open your eyes.  Enjoy this beautiful day.

   Mahalo for being here for me and my thoughts.  All I know is that everything is perfect, in this moment, and to trust.  With warmest aloha, Dee Harris

From Deepak Chopra’s Free 4-Part Workshop on Overcoming Chaos.  Video #1 contains a conversation between Roger Gabriel, a teacher of meditation at the Chopra Center, and Deepak Chopra about Resolving Conflict from Within (